Not Giving Up
by ivyleaguesmut
Summary: Directly after 2x09 Clarke and Bellamy rescue the 47 while trying to figure out whether or not love means weakness.


**A/N: This is just something that came to me after 2x09. I wrote it pretty quickly so some of the more particular details aren't perfect. I might upload more later, but nothing as long as this.**

"I can't lose you."

"It's worth the risk."

"I need to see the Commander," Bellamy grumbled to the grounder standing in front of her tent.

He said nothing, but Indra soon emerged, brushing the tent flaps out of her way.

"Insolent Sky person," Indra spat at him.

"I need to see the Commander," Bellamy insisted again, refusing to back down to the warrior.

She glared at him, Bellamy had not forgotten her earlier remark about wanting to slit all of their throats, he thought that his name was probably still on the top of her throat slitting list.

"The Commander only communes with those _she _wishes to speak with," Indra said through gritted teeth.

"I need to speak to the Commander," Bellamy growled, raising his voice so that everyone around him could hear.

Indra quickly removed her sword from its sheath and held it up to his throat. Bellamy swallowed and could feel the blade move against his Adam's apple. He still refused to move.

The tent flaps parted again and Lexa appeared. She stood just in front of the tent entrance, taking in the scene before her.

"Let him in," Lexa said after a moment and then turned around to re-enter her tent. "What can I do for you, Bellamy?" she spoke as if there was some joke that he was supposed to know.

"What did you say to her?" Bellamy's voice was rough and commanding.

"It seems that you and Clarke suffer from similar afflictions," she said cooly, not taking her eyes off Bellamy but giving the impression that she was bored.

Bellamy glared at her, he didn't trust the grounders or their leaders, no matter what Clarke said. He didn't like the games that Lexa always seemed to be playing. "Tell me what you said to her," he insisted again.

"You would give your life for her," Lexa said. It wasn't a question, more of an observation. Bellamy didn't dignify her with a response, he continued glaring at her. "You have proven yourself as an impressive warrior, I have seen few people so willing to jump in front of others when danger arises." She considered him for a moment, tapping her fingers on the hilt of her sword. "I will give you the same advice that I gave Clarke, for I fear that the two of you came to Earth unprepared for what you would find." She waited another moment that stretched out in silence. "Love is weakness. Clarke has already learned this lesson once. Love only brings pain to those you care for."

Bellamy stared at her for several more seconds before nodding and turning back around. It was early morning, few people were awake in the village and the members of the Ark would soon be preparing to wake and return to Camp Jaha. Bellamy had to be gone before Kane or Abby woke up. Lincoln was waiting for him at the edge of the village. Bellamy had insisted on speaking to Lexa before leaving, something was wrong with Clarke and Bellamy knew that Lexa had to be to blame.

As Bellamy trudged through the forest with Lincoln, he was more confused than he had been before, it had been a strange 24 hours. The previous morning Bellamy had told Clarke that he wanted to get inside Mt. Weather by himself and she had told him no.

"I can't lose you too, okay?" Her words still rang through his head, he had no words when she had spoken, and she still had no words. He couldn't lose her either, Earth would be nothing without Clarke Griffin, their people needed her. He had experienced time without her before, he didn't want to do it again.

They had seen a lot that day. Burning bodies. Poison. Sliced bodies. Clarke almost got herself killed several times.

"I was being weak. It's worth the risk." He had mentioned getting himself killed, and this time Clarke had looked him in the eyes and said it was worth the risk.

Part of him was glad to have her approval, he was going into Mount Weather regardless, and though it had taken him awhile, he realized that his plans often worked better when Clarke agreed with him. Another part of him realized that this change was not characteristic of her. Something had changed, Clarke, the healer, was ready to put a life, his life, in danger. Bellamy was tired of seeing people change in front of him, he wasn't going to sit by and watch anymore.

Bellamy had spent some time trying to figure out the change. What had changed for Clarke throughout the day? Bellamy had zeroed in on Lexa. He had needed to speak to her.

"Love is weakness." That's what Lexa had told him, that loving people was weakness.

"I was being weak. It's worth the risk."

"Love is weakness."

"I was being weak."

"Love is weakness."

"I was being weak."

As Bellamy was walking through the forest, weaving between the trees, he heard their voices in his head. Women's voices ringing through his ears. He had wondered at Clarke's choice of words, "I was being weak." He'd never heard Clarke describe herself as weak before. He'd never seen Clarke be weak before. He saw a lot of things in Clarke, but weakness was not one of them. But she had called herself weak, and then almost sacrificed his life.

"Bellamy," Lincoln had snapped Bellamy away from his thoughts. Bellamy didn't have time to think about Clarke anymore, it was time to enter the caves.

"Clarke," Abby's voice was tense. "Where's Bellamy?" They were standing in the grounder village, preparing to go back to Camp Jaha. Clarke had just returned from a meeting with Lexa, telling her about the plan they had hashed together the night before.

"He's with Lincoln," Clarke hedged her bets, wondering how much she could tell her mother. Octavia was standing beside her, Raven was off to the side, but she was still listening.

"Clarke," Abby's voice was harsh as she looked between her daughter and the younger Blake sibling.

Clarke took a deep breath, it was too late for Abby to do anything. "He's going into Mt. Weather."

Abby's intake of breath was sharp. Kane was standing beside Abby, he said nothing.

"What have you done?"

"We need to get back to Camp Jaha so Raven can be by the radio equipment." Clarke said before pushing past her mother, starting on their way back to camp, Octavia and Raven followed. The weapons that Bellamy and Lincoln hadn't taken with them were returned to them at the edge of the village. Clarke looked back to see Lexa standing in the center of the village. The two women nodded at each other, and Clarke was on her way.

Abby looked at Kane, he opened his hands in a questioning gesture, "This world in run by children," he said before leaving the village himself, Abby had no choice but to leave as well.

Camp Jaha was tense. Clarke had killed Finn, Bellamy was missing. Abby wasn't happy with the decisions that her daughter was making and couldn't stop those teenagers from listening to her. There was nothing that could be done while they waited to hear from Bellamy.

How long were they supposed to be waiting? Clarke wondered. How long would it take for Bellamy to get into Mt. Weather? How long to get to the radio? What had she done? What was his plan? What was she waiting for? How long would the grounders wait? Had the mountain men discovered Jasper's message? How long did they have?

Clarke was busy,ting with Lexa and Kane, creating battle plans even when they weren't sure what their next step should be. Clarke walked into the engineering bay for the fourth time that day, it was barely noon.

"I still haven't heard anything," Raven said without looking up from what she was working on.

"We can't do anything until we hear from him," Clarke said.

Raven just nodded, Clarke had almost been constantly beside the radio since Bellamy left, she insisted that she was thinking strategically. Octavia wasn't far behind. Raven rolled her eyes, even though she hadn't let the radio get more than an arm's length away from her. "If the two of you are going to be in here, you could at least be useful," she glanced towards the bullet materials, Clarke and Octavia jumped at the chance to be a part of assembly, happy to be helping and near the radio.

Bellamy and Lincoln had made it to the entrance of the bunker.

"Time for you to turn back," Bellamy said to Lincoln.

"What are you going to do?" Lincoln stared back at him.

"Find a radio," Bellamy shrugged, acting as if everything was fine. Lincoln continued to stare at him. "You have to turn back, there's no telling what they'll do if they catch you," Bellamy insisted.

"There's no telling what they'll do to you," Lincoln said.

"It's worth the risk," Bellamy said dryly.

Lincoln stared at him for a few seconds before clapping him on the shoulder and turning back around.

Bellamy had no choice but to turn back to the doors in front of him. He knew that at some point, opening doors would mean alarms for air contamination. But he didn't know how quickly the alarms worked or how specific they were, or how quickly the contamination would take effect.

He had no choice, he would open the doors in front of him. He figured he would have to move quickly, regardless of what would happen next. He waited a few minutes, figuring that the least he could do was to give Lincoln a head start if alarms went off immediately. Finally, Bellamy took a deep breath and grasped the door handle, pulling it towards him. The door opened, Bellamy slipped though it and found himself in a hallway. Suddenly he realized that this was too easy, this was not his final destination. He was now in a hallway, not a cave but he was not yet where he wanted to be.

Then, he heard it. A dull thud echoing through the hallway. He heard it once, then a few more times, not according to any sort of rhythm. With his gun pointed forward, he walked towards the sound. A rancid smell was intensifying the closer he got to the end of the hallway. He nearly vomited when he got to the source of the sound and the smell. He was about ten feet away when a body dropped out of a shaft and landed on the ground near several other bodies, bloody, beaten bodies that had surpassed their usefulness to the Mountain Men.

Bellamy didn't move, something was causing the bodies to drop, and something would come eventually to collect the ones that had dropped. There was no way of telling if any more would drop or when the collection would happen. He stood frozen, alert, ready to move whenever he needed to. The light was dim and he didn't dare to get any closer to the bodies at the moment, he searched them from where he stood.

From what he could see, all of the bodies were tattooed. Bellamy was repulsed by how relieved her was, none of these were his people, he still had time to get them all out. As he stood there, it was as if time was stretching out. He wanted to move, he needed to move, but his next move could potentially put him right next to the bodies in front of him. No more bodies dropped and soon it became more probable that the bodies would be collected before any more were dropped.

He made his way over, stepping over the bodies, and carefully looked up to where they had come from. It was a long shaft, darker than the hallway he was currently standing in. He could make out a small ladder, built into the wall were iron rungs spread apart at two foot intervals. Bellamy couldn't see the top, or the place where the bodies were coming from, but he knew it was there somewhere.

If he climbed up this ladder, he would be defenseless, open and unguarded to whatever else might come his way. He didn't have a choice, there were no other options. He shifted his gun so that the strap was across his chest, the gun laying across his back, and put his hands on the highest rung that he could reach. The iron of the rungs were far apart.

Bellamy's hands were sore and he was sweating but all he could do was climb. He couldn't look down, he couldn't slip, he wasn't sure how high he was but he didn't think it was a survivable distance from the ground. Eventually, he left as if he was bathed in light. He looked behind him to see another set of doors, a little bit of light was coming through some windows and around the edges.

He looked around and didn't like what he saw. He was almost to the top of the shaft. There were a couple of rungs on the ceiling, and the doors were across from him, about ten feet directly behind him. There was nothing for him to do except for hope that these doors weren't locked either. He pulled himself further up the ladder and could just barely reach the rung at the top of the ceiling. He grabbed on and shifted his weight, he was hanging in the air, nothing except his grip stopping him from plummeting.

The final rung didn't put him directly in front of the doors as he would have hoped. He had to swing his feet back and forth, and then he finally had to hope for the best and launch himself towards the doors. His feet landed on the small ledge and he was able to launch his body through the doors. He burst through the doors, slamming onto the ground and rolling over. He pushed himself up, scrambling for his gun and looking around. No one was around, he was in another hallway, this one even less cave-like than the last.

Clarke jolted awake, sitting up immediately and assessing her surroundings. Octavia and Raven were on pallets near her, the radio was resting in between them. It was no longer broadcasting Jasper's message. She assumed that meant the Mountain Men had heard, she hoped they didn't know that the Ark had heard as well.

She was sweating, she'd had a nightmare. She had walked over to the grounder encampment, knife in her sleeve. As she walked over to the pole, it wasn't Finn that was tied there, but Bellamy.

"Brave Princess," he smiled as she stood before him, "don't you know? Love is weakness," he laughed at her.

She looked down at the knife in her hand. She looked back at Bellamy. Now it was Raven.

"Love is weakness."

Octavia.

"Love is weakness."

Jasper.

"Love is weakness."

Wells.

"Love is weakness."

Then it was Bellamy again. "Do it Princess, you already killed me."

Then she had woken up. She was still somewhat disoriented when she heard shouting outside the camp. She climbed out from underneath her blankets and exited the tent. The sun was still rising, but there was commotion near the front gate, the guards were shouting. She began to jog towards them, someone quickly ran past her. It was Octavia. Clarke soon realized that the commotion was Lincoln's return to camp.

"He made it to the entrance of the bunker before he sent me back," Lincoln has said. Clarke had seen the battling emotions across Octavia's face, she was glad to have Lincoln back but was still worried about her brother. Clarke's immediate reaction had been a desire to lash out at Lincoln, how dare he leave Bellamy by himself against the Mountain Men? Bellamy was a rash and aggressive decision maker, how was he doing? But Clarke restrained herself. Worrying about Bellamy wouldn't help anyone. Telling anyone she was worrying about Bellamy wouldn't help anyone. She couldn't worry about Bellamy, he was focused on the 47, she had to be focused on them too.

Nothing felt right to Octavia. Ever since Bellamy and Lincoln had left, she had barely left Clarke's side. She had spent all day in talks, refusing to let the alliance break over misunderstandings. She had promised Lincoln she wouldn't let anything happen. She couldn't let anything happen when the two most important people in her life were right under the noses of the mountain men. Clarke had spoken to Lexa, Indra, Kane, and Abby all day, yet Octavia felt as if Clarke hadn't been there at all.

Clarke had sent Bellamy off to risk his life as if nothing mattered and hadn't batted ad eyelash when Lincoln volunteered to guide him there. Clarke had handed Bellamy her map and had barely wished him luck. She stayed by the radio all day, but constantly spoke of battle plans, harshly wondering why Bellamy had yet to radio, unconcerned that he might be dead.

Octavia had watched her brother and Clarke interact ever since the dropship landed. They had hated each other but had grown to work together. Octavia thought they had even come to depend on each other. Bellamy had certainly been throwing himself in the face of danger to protect Clarke. Octavia had seen their reunion after Clarke's return from Mount Weather, had seen them having quiet conversations apart from everyone else.

And now Clarke was almost unresponsive to the fact that Bellamy was facing their worst threat by himself.

Lincoln came back and Octavia was immediately relieved. At once she realized how much his absence had been weighing on her and also how much she still felt the weight of Bellamy's absence. Clarke had asked Lincoln about what happened, nodded, and then started walking back to the engineering bay, presumably to continue making explosives. Octavia watched her go, wondering about her passivity. Clarke stopped suddenly and then sprinted back to where Octavia and Lincoln were standing.

"Lincoln, how far away are we from the entrance?"

"Several hours."

"We have to leave."

Octavia didn't understand. "What? Has Bellamy said something?"

"We can't wait her until he says something." Clarke was coming to a realization. "We've been acting like we can't do anything without a radio message. But if we're here when we get a message—we're hours away."

"Anything could happen," Octavia came to the same conclusion. If they couldn't get in Mount Weather immediately that were basically sacrificing the entire 47.

"Go tell the Grounders," Clarke instructed Octavia and Lincoln, "We have to leave as soon as possible," she didn't wait for a response before running off to alert her mother and Kane.

Clarke was towards the front of the group, marching through the forest towards the entrance they hoped to blast through to into Mount Weather. At this point, Clarke was hoping that Bellamy wouldn't get in touch with them. They needed to get in place.

Bellamy looked around, he still didn't see or hear anyone coming. He pulled the map out of his pocket and tried to figure out if he was on the map yet. Lincoln had showed him roughly where he thought he would emerge, Lincoln and Clarke knew separate parts of the mountain, it wasn't the best possible scenario. The first thing he should find should be some sort of holding cell or storage room. He was in a hallway. Bellamy began to walk through the hallways, doors kept opening in front of him in a way that made him feel like he was walking straight to his death, straight down the non-descript hallways.

After several hundred yards of blank hallways, there was a doorway. He peered through the window and saw rows of cages. He hoped he knew where he was on the map. He pushed his way through the doors, and began walking the aisles. Each empty aisle he walked through made him uneasy. He was glad that his people weren't in them, but couldn't be sure why they weren't. Were they still eating chocolate cake? Or were they being drained? When he came to the final row, he saw something at the very end. He ran to the end of the aisle and was met with two lifeless forms, each in their own cage, stacked on top of one another.

There was a blonde girl faced down in the top one, but lying face up, on the ground, was Monty. While Bellamy started wildly scanning the room for anything to help, Monty made a groaning noise. Bellamy crouched down and tried to get him to wake up.

Every part of Monty was sore, that was the first thing he was aware of.

"Monty, Monty, wake up."

Someone was calling to him. It seemed urgent. He tried for what felt like hours to open his eyes. When he finally did, everything was bright, and then when things came into focus, he thought he must be hallucinating. He thought he saw Bellamy crouched in front of him, calling his name.

"Bellamy?" Monty shook his head, trying to get some clarity.

"Yeah, Monty, wake up."

"Is this real?" Monty mumbled.

"Yeah, come on Monty, wake up, tell me how I can get you out of here." Bellamy was getting increasingly urgent, he didn't know how long he could go unnoticed and he did not want to be discovered right by all the empty human-sized cages.

"But you're dead," Monty mumbled.

"Only if we don't get out of here soon, Monty, let's go," Bellamy pounded on the cage. He had to get Monty out, Monty would be a better map and would be better at breaking into a radio. He looked around, there were two sets of doors in the room; the ones he had come through, and another set that appeared to be more secure. He ran over to look through the doors he had come from, there was still no one that he could see. Then he inched over to the windows by the doors.

Behind those doors, it looked like the medical bay that Clarke had described. Everything was white and silver, he could see a long hallway with doors evenly spread out the whole way down. At the end, there were two people wearing hazmat suits walking in his direction. He looked back to where Monty was, he couldn't help right now. Bellamy braced himself against the wall and waited. He couldn't make any mistakes, he couldn't draw any attention. He could hear their footsteps getting closer and closer, they were chatting about something, acting as if it were completely normal to go collect someone for their blood.

The door opened right beside Bellamy, he waited until the door closed again. He jammed the butt of his gun against the head of the person closest to him, and then as the other person turned around, he hit them in their face. It didn't go as quickly as he was hoping for, but they were down, he searched them quickly, he found keys and IDs, he took them all and hustled back down to where Monty was. Bellamy shoved keys into the lock on Monty's cage until he finally heard a click, He pulled the lock off and yanked the door open. He reached in and grabbed Monty by the shoulders and hauled him out and started pulling him to the doors.

"Harper," Monty said as he tried to wrap his mind around what was happening.

Bellamy stopped and looked back, "What?"

"What about Harper?" Monty asked, getting his bearings and standing on his own.

Bellamy looked back at the last cage, the blonde girl who had yet to move or make a sound was Harper, "Where are the others?"

"Not here yet," Monty said, they were still whole.

"We'll come back for her," Bellamy decided. He didn't know what was ahead of them, he didn't think he could manage to carry Harper through the bunker. "We're gonna get everybody out."

"Clarke's coming?" Monty asked.

Bellamy swallowed, he didn't want to think about Clarke, "Clarke's coming," he agreed. Bellamy looked down the hallway, he didn't see anyone coming. He tested the door, it didn't open.

"Key card," Monty said, reaching over and taking one of the cards from Bellamy and holding it against the scanner, the lock clicked and they made their way into the hallway. Monty darted into one of the rooms they passed, Bellamy followed.

"What are you doing?"

Monty was standing in a room full of discarded clothing. He shuffled through them quickly until he found pants and a shirt that fit. Bellamy nodded, he wouldn't want to go down wearing a hospital gown either. Monty found some shoes, Bellamy detached a hand gun fron his belt and handed it to Monty.

"Try not to shoot it," he instructed.

"Where are we going?" Monty asked, following Bellamy back into the hallway.

"You tell me, " Bellamy said, "I need a radio."

Monty considered things for a moment, "We're gonna need help, but you need to know that they're always listening to us."

Abby watched from several yards back. They had sent scouts ahead, but Clarke and Lexa were leading the charge, side by side, loaded with weapons, they walked through the forest. They were literally being led by children. Clarke's hair had been braided back, and with Octavia and Lincoln walking beside her, she looked more like a grounder than a member of the ark. Abby looked around at her people, they were dirty, their clothes were falling apart, their faces were grim, no one around her was truly recognizable as a member of the Ark community. Earth had changed everything.

Clarke still wasn't talking. She was talking to Lexa about battle strategy, talking to Kane about what had to be done, talking to Raven and Wick about explosions. She was talking about the people as if she didn't care about what happened, she was solely focused on her mission to destroy the Mountain Men and get the 47 back.

Monty walked into the room ahead of Bellamy, signaling that everyone needed to be quiet. No one could know that either of them were in the bunk room. Jasper rushed to Monty and hugged him, the music got louder. Even though Miller looked like he had a thousand questions, he always knew what needed to be done and he had turned up the music to drown out their voices. Everybody rushed to them, Bellamy noticed that Jasper and Monty kept glancing around nervously, they were making too much noise. "Quiet down," Bellamy grumbled.

Everyone was anxious, they were practically jumping out of their skin as they moved closer to the radio, blocking Bellamy and Monty in between some bunks where they couldn't be seen.

"Where's Clarke? Did Clarke make it out?" Jasper whispered.

Here Bellamy was, trying to save them from this nightmare, and all anybody wanted to talk about was Clarke. "The princess is fine, she waiting with the grounders, if we can get a signal to them, they'll figure out how to get us out of here."

"Back to the command room," Monty nodded.

"_Back _to the command room?" Jasper demanded. "_That's _where they found you? By yourself?"

"I got the message out," Monty insisted.

Jasper was ready to argue some more, but Bellamy interrupted, "Monty's right, it was worth the risk, we heard your message, and now we're here. It's time to get a move on, I need to get to the control room, I need someone who can work the control room."

"I'm going with you," Miller, Jasper, and Monty all insisted at once.

Bellamy looked around, he didn't think he could convince any of them to stay behind, but he wasn't sure how the four of them could travel unnoticed.

"We need a distraction," someone suggested. They were right.

"Okay," Bellamy nodded and they started planning.

Bellamy watched as the majority of the 47 walked out of the room, they looked ready for battle, Bellamy hoped they were

"Okay," Jasper had been keeping time, the only thing they could hope was that their friends were accomplishing their tasks.

Monty and Jasper had memorized the map as much as possible, they took back stairways and rarely used hallways when they could. They made it to the central room. Bellamy nodded to Jasper, he held the key card up to the scanner, the door opened, but that was the least of their worries.

"Now or never," Bellamy said as he kicked the door open. There were five people in the room, more than Bellamy would have liked, about five more than Bellamy would have liked. Before anyone had time to react, Bellamy threw his knife into the back of the man farthest from him. Then everything exploded in chaos, Miller was right behind him, knocking someone over the head. They were trying not to use guns, guns made noise and they needed as much time as they could get.

They got everyone down.

"Get to work," Bellamy told Jasper and Monty as he began dragging the bodies together, he and Miller were tying them together.

"Radio first, then acid fog, then contamination," Jasper repeated to himself as he sat in front of a computer. Miller stood by the door, watching, Bellamy went to stand behind Monty and Jasper as they worked.

"Come on, come on, come on," Monty was repeating to himself.

"Unjam the radio, unjam the radio, unjam the radio, unjam the radio," Jasper was repeating to himself.

"We're in!" Monty said after several minutes.

"Ark wide frequency," Jasper said. "Okay, okay, okay," Jasper was talking to himself again, "broadcasting!" He moved to speak into the microphone, "Hello. This is Jasper Jordan, calling out to the Ark. Do you read?"

There was a crackling sound, and then some grumbling before a voice finally came through, "Is Bellamy with you?"

"I'm here, Octavia," Bellamy responded.

There was more scuffling on the other side of the radio, "Are you in the control center," Clarke demanded.

"Yes," Jasper said, relief flooding through his voice, hearing from Clarke and Octavia was all the motivation he needed.

"Can you eliminate the acid fog?"

"I think so," Monty responded.

"Then plan is to eliminate the acid fog and then create a contamination breach," Bellamy said.

"That will kill everyone," Clarke said.

Monty looked at Jasper, they were both thinking about Maya.

"It's the only way," Jasper said, going back to work.

"We don't have much time."

"We'll be there," Octavia had taken back the radio. "Just tell us when you're ready."

They shut off the radio, Clarke rounded on Octavia.

"We're not ready."

"Then we need to be."

Clarke gritted her teeth. "We need to be there quicker," she said to Lexa.

Lexa nodded, "The fastest runners should go. The rest will follow as close behind as possible," she called out to the assembled troops.

Clarke strapped her back pack tighter and took off with the runners, her pack had the explosives.

"Clarke," Octavia grabbed her elbow, stopping her sprinting.

Clarke shook her off, "We have to go Octavia."

"What's wrong with you Clarke, you're being reckless."

"I'm being strong," Clarke said as she continued running.

"You're being crazy."

"We have to go," Clarke shook her off again.

Octavia kept running, but didn't try to talk to Clarke anymore. She was crazy and reckless, it wasn't like Clarke to run head first into danger like this, that was Octavia's job.

"The acid fog is disabled," Jasper said excitedly.

"Good job, Jasper," Bellamy said, "how much longer until contamination?"

"Not long," Monty answered, "get them back on the radio."

"Clarke? Octavia?" Jasper said into the microphone. "This is Jasper, we're almost ready for you."

"Correction," Monty said before the girls had a chance to respond. "We're ready for you." He was almost glowing as he pushed a final button and alarms started going off.

"Dammit Octavia," they heard Clarke say over the radio.

"Clarke," Bellamy demanded. "What's wrong?"

"We're not there yet," Clarke said tersely into the radio, she sounded like she was out of breath.

"What do you mean?" Bellamy demanded, he thought he heard footsteps running in their direction.

"Octavia was trying," Clarke said between breaths, "to be positive. We're trying to get to you as fast as we can. But we're not there yet. Damn it."

There was no response on the radio, Clarke kept yelling into it, trying to get a response from anyone, but nothing was happening.

"What's wrong?" Octavia said.

"They started the contamination and we're not there, and now they're not responding."

"We're here," Lincoln interrupted, they came to a stop among the trees, vaulted doors were covered in vegetation.

"We're here?" Clarke asked.

Bellamy couldn't get to the radio, no one could. The contamination didn't happen as they thought it would. People in hazmat suits had come rushing for them, they were fighting for their lives, but he heard Clarke's voice calling out, "We're coming in."

"Everybody stand back," Clarke instructed as she stuck explosives on the doors. Raven had given her the explosives, she couldn't exactly sprint through the trees.

"Do you know what you're doing?" Octavia asked.

"Not exactly. I was hoping that Wick or Raven would be here by now. But we have to get in."

"Clarke—"

"Just stand back, I'm the fastest, I'll ignite then, I'll run, the rest of you, get back," Clarke announced to the group of warriors that had assembled. "Get back," she said again when Octavia and Lincoln had yet to move.

Everyone had taken cover, Clarke ignited the explosives and ran. She couldn't get far enough away fast enough, the explosion knocked her down. Octavia ran to her side, turning her on her back and pushing her hair out of her face. "Clarke! Clarke! Clarke!" she ran her hands along Clarke's face and shook her shoulders. "Wake up, please, wake up," Octavia begged.

Clarke moaned and her eyes fluttered open. "I'm fine, Octavia, let's go." Clarke pushed herself up.

"Yeah, okay Clarke, let's go," Octavia agreed, helping her friend to her feet.

Clarke looked around and surveyed the scene, everyone was ready to go, weapons poised for attack. She nodded to everyone and then turned around, she was the first person into the tunnel. It got louder and louder as they got further into the mountain. They passed through doors that were supposed to be locked but that were wide open. For a while, they didn't pass anyone. Then they made it to the medical unit, it was deserted. Clarke guessed the only people with hazmat suits would have gone to see what the problem was.

When they entered the room with the cages, the grounders wasted no time breaking the locks open and setting people free. More warriors started to arrive so some people were able to help get people out. Clarke scanned the cages, running in between them, but she didn't see any of her people. She knew this was a good sign, she tried to remember that.

She almost passed by a room that looked empty, but went inside just in case. Right inside the door were two figures in hazmat suits, lying unmoving on the floor. She saw something in the back corner of the room, "Octavia!" she called out and the other girl was there in a matter of seconds. Clarke ran to the end of the aisle and found a blonde girl in a cage. "Harper," she whispered. She and Octavia broke open the lock and pulled Harper out. Harper wasn't moving.

"Harper," Clarke turned her head to the side and tried to find a pulse on her throat. "She's still alive," Clarke breathed a sigh of relief.

"We have to get her out of here," Octavia said. They found someone to carry Harper out of the bunker and then they continued on. They found most of the 47 locked in the cafeteria.

"What happened?" Clarke demanded once they broke the doors in.

"We were creating a distraction; Monty, Jasper, Miller, and Bellamy were going to the control room—everybody that had on a suit went in that direction—everyone else…"the girl stopped speaking and looked around. The contamination had worked, people with bright red and blistered skin were lying on the ground wherever they looked. They had locked the 47 in with their dying members. Clarke ushered her friends in the direction of the tunnel and then headed for the control room.

Octavia shook her head and grabbed Lincoln and any other free body she could find and they all sprinted after Clarke.

Bellamy was seeing red, the guys in the hazmat suits were impossible to stop, he couldn't figure out how to open the suit to get air in; it was impenetrable. Then suddenly, there was a loud bang and the man he had been fighting with dropped to the ground, red was splattered against his face mask. Instead of a man in a suit standing in front of him, Clarke was standing in front of him with a raised gun. She barely spared him a glance before turning around to shoot someone else.

They were having a party. They had made it out, and the moonshine was flowing. They hadn't been able to find all of the Mountain Men, or figure out where they had all gone, but that was a problem for another day, probably tomorrow. But tonight they were having a party. Bellamy was sitting on a log a little ways away from the fires, watching everyone else. Watching her. She had sent him off to die, and when they left the mountain, Clarke had hugged everyone, she had been happy to see everyone, right now she was sitting in between Jasper and Monty as they probably told her all of the heroic things that had done.

Octavia came and plopped herself beside him. "I don't know how you do it."

"What are you talking about, O?" Bellamy shook his head.

"I always thought that Clarke wasn't reckless, and that she was acting crazy today—I spent all day keeping her from killing herself—and then I realized that she's always been reckless and crazy but you're usually there."

"What are you talking about?"

"Today I was doing your job. Usually you're there, making sure that Clarke doesn't die. I'd like to give you your job back."

"She won't listen to me anymore," Bellamy said.

"What?" Octavia didn't understand.

"You weren't wrong when you said Clarke has changed—she got a dumb idea from Lexa."

"Something about being strong?" Octavia asked.

"Yeah."

Octavia rolled her eyes, "Well, I don't know when you started to think that Clarke trusts Lexa more than she trusts you. You need to fix this," she said before getting up to return to Lincoln.

Bellamy stared at her from across the fire. Clarke had always been guarded, but she seemed to be holding herself apart more than usual. She was smiling, but not the beautiful smiled that he knew could light up her whole face. As he watched her, she removed herself from Monty and Jasper and the rest of the ones who had gathered around her.

Bellamy went to follow her, but he was stopped by Miller, "Bellamy!" he was a little intoxicated.

"What's up, Miller?"

"I just wanted to thank you—for coming to get us."

Bellamy just nodded, "No problem."

"Bellamy!" Monty and Jasper came running up to him, throwing their arms around him in their drunken stupor.

"Aren't your guys' parents and here somewhere?" Bellamy joked.

"They already knew we were delinquents," Jasper shrugged, "They're just happy we're alive now."

"Uh huh," Bellamy laughed.

"Anyway," Monty said, throwing his arms out in large gestures. "We were just coming over here to thank our savior."

"Right," Jasper held up his cup, "To Bellamy!" Jasper spoke loud enough that several other of the 47 heard him and raised their cups with cheers.

"I'm just glad to see it didn't dampen your demeanors," Bellamy said as he extricated himself from the group and went off in search of Clarke.

He found her in the council room of the Ark, standing over the map of the surrounding area. She looked up at him, and then back to the map. "Bellamy, good, we need to figure out where the Mountain Men went."

"What princess, no hug?" he held his arms out as if he was actually expecting a hug.

"What are you talking about Bellamy, we need to make a plan," Clarke wasn't looking up from the map.

"We can do that later," Bellamy said, leaning against the table that Clarke was focused on.

"This is important," Clarke insisted.

"I have important things to talk about too," Bellamy said.

Clarke finally looked at him, "Did you see where they went?" she spoke quickly and excitedly.

"What?"

"The Mountain Men."

"I don't want to talk about the Mountain Men," Bellamy roared. "I want to talk about what Lexa said to you."

Clarke moved her eyes back to the map. "Lexa was right, I can't be weak. There are important things to do."

"You were never weak, Clarke."

"You don't know that."

"Lexa's wrong about what creates weakness."

"I really don't want to talk about this, Bellamy," Clarke moved further away from him.

"You haven't been able to look at me since yesterday."

Clarke deliberately turned to look at him, "I've been a little busy Bellamy, so have you."

"It's not healthy, Clarke."

"I really don't want to talk about this," Clarke insisted before walking out of the room, leaving Bellamy by himself.

Bellamy was sitting next to Clarke, they were sitting at a table with Lexa and Indra and Kane and Abby, trying to figure out what their next steps should be. Bellamy had stopped listening a long time ago, they had sent out search parties, on the ground and through the tunnels, but they still weren't sure where the Mountain Men had gone. Bellamy thought they were probably dead, they had lost their blood supply and lost all of their useful supplies, the Mountain Men had nothing left.

But here they were, wasting their time at this table. Bellamy was sitting next to Clarke but she still wasn't talking to him, wasn't trusting him. He had seen her talking to Raven and Octavia, why wouldn't she talk to him? She only ever wanted to talk to him about battle plans and then she was gone before he could say anything else to her.

While he looked at Lexa across the table, the only thing he could think was, "Love is weakness" If Clarke thought she had been weak from loving Finn, why couldn't she talk to him? Why couldn't she let him tell her she was wrong.

Suddenly, Bellamy came to a realization: Clarke didn't want to be weak, she thought that love was weakness, and she was keeping herself away from him. He thought he was being crazy, he hadn't thought of this before because it didn't make any sense. There was absolutely no way that Clarke Griffin loves him. What did that mean anyway? Did she love him? Was she in love with him? Bellamy turned to look at Clarke and couldn't help but smile.

He would do anything for Clarke Griffin, anything to keep her safe, anything to keep her alive. Did that mean that he was in love with Clarke Griffin? As he looked at her, he couldn't keep himself from thinking about running his fingers through her blonde hair, or pressing his lips against hers, tasting her, or wrapping his arms around his waist. He shook his head, he couldn't think about picking Clarke up and lying her down on the very table that her mother was sitting at.

Everyone was standing up, apparently they were done for the day. Clarke was gone as soon as possible, refusing to talk to anyone. He chased after her. "Clarke," he called out after her, she slowed down but didn't turn around. "Clarke, come on, you can't just stop talking to me because you're being stupid."

"What are you talking about, Bell—"

Before Clarke had a chance to finish her statement, Bellamy had grabbed her and crushed his lips down on hers.

Clarke was caught off guard, the last thing she had ever expected was that Bellamy Blake was going to kiss her. But he _was _kissing her, and before she knew it, she was kissing him too. Before she knew it she was running her hands up his back and fisting her fingers in his thick, dark hair. His hands were around her waist, pulling her closer to his body. She pulled away from him slightly, keeping her arms linked around his neck, "Bellamy," she breathed his name against his mouth.

"Yes?"

"Let's go back to your tent."

She didn't have to repeat herself and Bellamy didn't have to consider anything, keeping a arm wrapped around her waist, he ushered her back to his tent. They didn't waste any time. Once they were back in the tent, Clarke immediately pulled Bellamy's jacket off and then slid her hands under his shirt, sliding it off so she could run her hands over his chest as she pressed her lips against his. Bellamy ripped her jacket off and tossed it to the floor. He ran his hands up her back, pulling her shirt off. Clarke pushed Bellamy down on the bed and kicked off her shoes while he did the same.

Clarke leaned over Bellamy, straddling his hips while she pressed herself against him. Bellamy grabbed handfuls of her hair and grabbed handfuls of her hair and grabbed the back of her neck and held her close. Then he slid his hands down her sides, wrapping her hands around her ass, their hips grinding into one another.

Soon all their clothes were gone, thrown across the tent. Bellamy rolled over with his arms still wrapped around her. He pinned her down to the bed, pressing kisses to her collarbone. Clarke arched against him, wrapping her legs around his hips to bring him closer. Bellamy moved into her, Clarke gasped and grabbed his lips with hers, biting his lower lip before sucking it into her mouth. Clarke arched as Bellamy thrust against her, allowing him deeper and deeper into her. She pressed kisses against his chest and licked the circumference of his nipple. He groaned into her hair. She grabbed his face, bringing his lips back down to hers. Bellamy increased his speed and felt Clarke contract around him. Clarke called his name as she came and a few seconds later he roared his approval before collapsing on top of her.

That wasn't the way that Bellamy had intended for things to go. It wasn't that he didn't enjoy sleeping with Clarke, because he absolutely did. But when he had gone after Clarke, he had wanted to talk to her, to try and convince her that Lexa was wrong. Something inside of him had taken over, he'd spent too much of the meeting thinking about kissing her, he couldn't help himself, couldn't think of a better way to convey his feelings. And Clarke hadn't said no, in fact, she had responded rather enthusiastically. He figured he would talk to her in the morning. He wrapped an arm around her and fell asleep.

Clarke woke up and assessed her surroundings, she was warm, and light was beginning to filter into the tent. Clarke had not intended to stay this long. Sleeping with Bellamy hadn't been a mistake, it was supposed to help her. Ignoring him hadn't been helping her. She knew the way Bellamy Blake treated the girls that he slept with, and she could do the same. She used his body so that she could feel something. She needed to feel something that wasn't despair.

She didn't feel despair when she was with Bellamy. But she didn't want to be weak either. When she looked at Bellamy, those feelings were weakness. Sleeping with Bellamy meant looking at him would give her different feelings, she hoped.

But that wouldn't happen if they woke up in bed together. Bellamy's arm was wrapped around her, their bodies were pressed together. Regretfully, Clarke slid out from under Bellamy and the warm blankets. She dressed as quickly and as quietly as possible and then let herself out of the tent.

Bellamy woke up and stretched his arm across the bed while his eyes were still closed, searching for Clarke. All he found was empty space. He opened his eyes and looked around the tent. Clarke and every sign of her was missing. It would be hard to talk to her if she wasn't there. Begrudgingly, he got up himself and got dressed. His plan was to find Clarke, but he was intercepted almost immediately.

"Hey big brother," Octavia said as she came up to him.

"What's up, O?"

"Rumor has it, Clarke left _your _tent this morning." She was smiling from ear to ear.

"And whose rumor is that?" Bellamy grumbled.

"Well—mine. I saw her leave this morning and thought I'd come ask you about it."

"You saw her leave?" Bellamy asked.

"Yeah."

"Where did she go?"

"Medical, I think," Octavia said off-handedly.

Bellamy didn't wait around to see what else Octavia had to say, he went off in search of Clarke. He found her working the medical tent with her mother, it turns out blood loss and alcohol did not mix well together, some of the 47 were experiencing extreme hangovers and Clarke was trying to keep them hydrated.

"Hey Clarke," Bellamy smiled as he leaned against a table near where she was working with Monty.

"Bellamy," she nodded to him, barely glancing in his direction.

"I missed you this morning," he said with a goofy grin on his face, he was going to make Clarke talk to him.

"I have things to do, Bellamy," her voice was tense and her eyes were shooting daggers at him.

"I had things I wanted to do," he wiggled his eyebrows at her.

"I don't have time for this," she insisted again.

"Well, later then, we'll talk," Bellamy winked and then left, leaving Clarke to her hangover patients.

If Bellamy came to bother her one more time, Clarke was going to throw something at him. All day he had been showing up every couple hours, making insinuating comments about what they had done. Unfortunately, the next time he came up to her, she was sitting with Raven, Monty, and Jasper; she didn't want to draw even more attention to the matter around her friends, so she didn't say anything when Bellamy sat down next to her with his dinner.

"Clarke, you've been busy today," he said by way of greeting.

"There's a lot of things to be done," Clarke countered. "We can probably find you something to do if you're bored," she said.

"Do you need help? I'm always happy to help."

Clarke rolled her eyes, "What did the rest of you do today?" she asked the other people she was sitting with.

For the rest of the night, Bellamy refused to leave Clarke's side and she refused to put herself in a situation where they were alone.

Finally, everyone was going to sleep.

"Ready to talk?" Clarke smiled and trotted off towards Bellamy's tent. He followed behind.

When Bellamy entered his tent, Clarke was lying on his bed naked. He shut the tent flaps quickly, hoping no one's eyes had wandered inside. He didn't know how she had even moved so quickly.

"Care to join me?" Clarke asked and Bellamy removed his own clothing.

For the ninth day in a row, Bellamy woke up alone when he had gone to sleep with Clarke. She was a routine in and of herself, she would ignore and avoid him all day, whether she was going medical work or working on the Mount Weather plan next to him. Then, she would always appear in his tent at night, and her clothes would be gone before he could get a word in. He was starting to get angry.

It was hard to be angry because the sex was so good, but he was getting the feeling that she was just trying to use him for that purpose. He needed to get a grip. He needed to stop Clarke from taking her clothes off so that they could have a conversation for five minutes.

Clarke felt like something was wrong, like something was missing in her day. She realized what it was when she saw him walking on the other side of camp. Clarke hadn't seen Bellamy all day, he usually came to see her every couple of hours. She was definitely ready to see him by the time everybody was going to sleep.

She walked into his tent only to find him sitting on his bed fully clothed, his hands were resting behind his bed.

"Clarke," he inclined his head to her, "lovely to see you."

"What are you doing?" she asked as she removed her jacket and shoe before sitting down on the bed.

"We need to talk."

"Bellamy I—" she moved to leave the tent but Bellamy grabbed her arm.

"Please Clarke, you don't even know what I want to talk about."

"Yes I do," Clarke shook her head and tried to free herself.

"You want to talk about it too."

"No I—"

"You come here every night."

"I just want—"

"Lexa is wrong, Clarke." He stared deep into her eyes, she wasn't trying to pull her arm away any more.

"She had to be right," Clarke took a deep breath. "I need her to be right."

"Love doesn't make you weak, Clarke."

"But—"

Bellamy wouldn't let her talk before he made his point. "I'll be the first to admit that Lincoln and Octavia's relationship is not my favorite thing in the world—but you can't tell me that you look at them and think that they make each other weaker. Do you think that Lincoln would still be alive if it weren't for Octavia? Is that weakness?"

"Bellamy I—" she was shaking her head, she couldn't look at him, he grabbed her chin and pulled her face to look at him.

"And I know that the only reason I'm alive is because you make me stronger. When I was in the control room and the Mountain Men were taking over, I almost gave up, I didn't think I could fight anymore—just climbing the ladder into the place had almost killed me. But then I heard your voice, you were talking over the radio, you said you were coming, and I knew I had to survive just to see your face. I thought of you, and I survived. I thought of Octavia, and I survived. And then, when I couldn't figure out the next step—you were there—with a gun—and you saved my life—again—that makes me stronger too. I love you Clarke Griffin, and I won't let anybody tell me that makes me weak, because I know it makes me stronger."

For a moment, Clarke didn't say anything—she didn't know what to say. Then she started crying, tears streaming down her face, sobs racking her body. She threw her face against Bellamy's chest, crying while he held he and stroked her back.

"Tell me what I said to make you cry," Bellamy finally said. "What can I do to make this better?"

"You didn't—I didn't—" Clarke tried to speak between sobs. "I need to believe what Lexa said was right."

"Why Clarke? Tell me why you need that."

Clarke took a few deep breaths, trying to organize her thoughts. "Because if I don't love anybody else—nobody else is going to die."

"Clarke—what are you talking about?" Bellamy was still stroking her back.

"Everybody I love dies—my dad—Wells—Finn—I didn't even love Finn that much and he still died."

"Clarke—that's not—" Bellamy tried to talk, but Clarke cut him off, bringing her head up to look him directly in the eyes. Even rimmed in red, her eyes were incredibly blue.

"So if I don't love you—you won't die, and I won't be made weaker by your death."

"Clarke, I'm sorry that these things happened to you—life hasn't been easy. But I don't think these things have made you weaker—they've made you stronger."

Tears were streaming down her face, "I don't want you to die, Bellamy."

"I'm not going anywhere Clarke. I'm not going anywhere because I love you—you make my life worth living."

"I love you, Bellamy," Clarke collapsed against him, wrapping her arms tight around him and breathing in his scent. He smelled like the forest, and a little like spice, it was comforting, it made Clarke feel at home.

Bellamy kept his arms wrapped around Clarke as he laid back on the bed. He held her until she stopped crying, he held her until she fell asleep, he held her while he fell asleep as well.

Bellamy woke up feeling better than he had in weeks, Clarke was still laying in his arms. He was lazily twirling his fingers through her hair, she began to stir. She looked up at him and smiled, her hand was stroking his chest.

"Thank you, Bellamy."

"I didn't do anything, Princess," his voice was throaty in the morning, Clarke smiled brighter at the sound.

"You didn't give up on me."

"I'll never give up on you," he insisted before he pressed a kiss to her forehead.


End file.
